One of my best friends was the fittest woman I had ever met. She ate a clean, wholesome diet and had tons of friends who thought she was amazing. Because she truly was!
What most people didn’t know was, that she had been sexually abused as a child by her older brother and father. Her own mother blamed her and constantly challenged her ability to succeed. She would constantly demand that her daughter get a “real” job. My friend was a successful personal trainer making an average of $60,000/year. Regardless, her mother would tell her to dress better, look prettier, and so on and on.
Naturally, all her life, my sweet friend tried to be perfect. She was a generous being with a heart of gold, always thinking of others. She was funny, loving, and a true friend.
At 29 years old, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer.
She fought it. She won.Β
Later, she got married, became pregnant, and miscarried.
She fought back and got pregnant again.Β
At 20 weeks, her baby boy was born weighing 1 pound. She fought by his side daily, never leaving the hospital for almost 5 months…and both of them won.Β
By the time her son was a healthy 7-year-old, she had lost her home, separated from her husband, and had to declare bankruptcy.Β
All these years, she had tried to fight the demons within her, the low self-worth and the feeling of never being good enough. 18 months ago, she stopped fighting and we lost her.
Today, I want to honor her beautiful soul and share her story with you to remind all of us that emotions rule our bodies.
Emotions rule the HEALTH of our bodies.Β
Did you know research shows that 86% of woman with uterus cancer have had sexual abuse in the past? Emotional trauma which hasn’t been dealt with, and repressed emotions, will slowly fester and eventually grow into unhealthy cells.
As practitioners, we have to be on the outlook for the underlying emotional component that may interfere with conception, cycle regulation, and hormonal imbalances.Β
The main causes of fertility disorders (I don’t like to use the word infertility, by the way… too negative!) in TCM and in Western medicine are:
– Long-standing emotional stress.
– Diet and its affects on the body, such as insulin resistance, high body mass index, metabolic syndrome, leaky gut, etc.
– Weak constitution, including structural or genetic issues.
– Chronic illness (physical or mental).
At least 90% of women trying to conceive, of those who received a diagnosis with unexplained infertility, have a root cause of long-standing emotions. As a result, these emotions are the main cause for them not getting pregnant.
UB 62 is a great Ghost point to use for these patients. It releases the heaviness of emotional trauma by helping the patient feel lighter, and therefore allows the body to conceive. Of course, this point is not a stand-alone. It needs to be added to the treatment protocol for the TCM diagnosis made by the practitioner for each patient.
I dedicate this post to my beautiful friend. I hope she found peace wherever she is now.Β
Clara
TCM Geek
PS: Have you seen my Chinese Medicine Treatments Made Easy book yet? It covers over 160 syndromes treatments using acupuncture points, herbal formulas, ear points, diet and more!
Clara,
Thank you for sharing that very personal story, such a sad loss but it really is so true.
I’m finding in our clinic that there is often an underlying emotional issue with most patients, that seems to go unspoken. I think it’s because there’s usually 2 or 3 students and a clinical supervisor looking on, it’s very hard for the patient to open up fully.
I agree with you Sandra. Even when I am one on one at my clinic, it often takes a while before some patients feel safe to share their deep struggles.
Thank you for sharing this personal story , i am sure she is at peace now , and i believe its our call to create consciousness about the importance of our emotions , and how to deal with them.
Thank you again! I really appreciate all what you share π
Thank you for the kind words Mariana.
Dear Clara,
Thank you for sharing the story of your much loved friend. It highlights and confirms what I have always suspected about how emotional and physical trauma resides in the body, and how it continues to resonate for better or worse in our daily lives, until we are able to begin attending to it consciously, with caring and healing therapies.
All the best!
Thanks Felicia.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story Clara, it definitely struck a chord
You also best soul
Thanks Manoj π
She was the best .thank u for sharing .
In hope of helping someone else…
I am so sorry to hear of your friend’s hardship, she is still fighting from the spirit realm. I felt so drawn to stop in my tracks and read about her. I feel a very strong emotional tie to her and what she endured, I know I need to address my past right now today. I have fought several battles with this disease as well.I am dealing with almost the exact same family and financial and career issues as your friend I appreciate all that shared here. Thank you.
Kathy I’m so sorry you’re going through such tough times. I hope you have help and support around you.
Sending healing and positive energy your way.
Dear Clara,
Very sorry to hear about your loss.. warm hugs and light from the other side of the tellus.
Thank you ever so much for sharing this (and many other great stories). This is goes deep both professionally and personally…but thank God no insest- that is the one of the worst things could ever happen to a girl ;(
Shame, guild and Not being good enough chases many people and drives them to a constant stress in order to get accepted. Plus these extremely negative feelings have their own ‘pathology’. I feel sometimes as a starting Acupuncturist that more 90% of my patients have emotinal background to their complaints. Our society (Finland) is also not tradiotionally engouraging people to Express their emotions. And the long winter does Not help it :)))
Loving to read your posts! Thank you!
Thanks for your support Mervi.
I agree with you, most chronic issues with see in practice, are due to long standing emotional stress. Finland is such a beautiful country but really long dark winter days, can lead to depression. In Canada, we get a lot S.A.D. (Seasonal affected disorder) where patients have depression in winter.
One day I will visit your beautiful country in the summer and hike everywhere there π
Clara
Clara, so bittersweet.
May I ask all practitioners to also consider Endometriosis when dealing with fertility issues…..it is a major factor and women go an average of 19 years before a diagnosis. These women suffer incredible physical pain and subsequent depression and emotional instability. Thank you Clara, inspiring as always.
…10 years not 19!
Hi Kate,
Thank you for sharing your view on this tough subject. I agree with you, there are many reasons why someone has fertility issue, including PCOS, Endometriosis and many more physical and emotional issues.
Keep rocking it with TCM Kate and keep changing lives one patient at a time π
Dear Clara,
I was immensely moved by your story of your friend. It is always a very sad loss when someone passes away but particularly poignant and sad when they are younger and have so much more of life still to live (and have a child). My dear friend and colleague passed away with stomach cancer last year leaving two small adopted children and a loving husband. It is very hard to reconcile with.
What you have shared rings many bells with the tough emotional journey of many of my IVF patients (not necessarily the same tragic history, but then again patients might not always share everything) but with the intense emotions of pain, anxiety, depression, guilt, jealousy and anger that can bubble at and beneath the surface. Helping them navigate through these intense feeling with Chinese Medicine is such a privilege and teaches me so much.
All best wishes,
Rosalie .
Thanks Rosalie, I appreciate your compassion.
Clara
Dear Clara,I was moved.loving to read your post::Thanks
Thank you for sharing this personal story , i am sure she is at peace now , and i believe its our call to create consciousness about the importance of our emotions , and how to deal with them.
Thank you again! I really appreciate all what you shareΒ
Thank you for your kind words Ramesh
Thanks Clara, for sharing this with us β₯οΈ life is beautiful and hard sometimes… And yes., indeed, its so important to listen to our patients, their fellings and perceptions of life. Thanks again, Laura ?
Thanks Laura for your sweet message π
tq clara.. i also believe long standing emotions will affect our health.
Chère Clara,
Je vous remercie pour ce partage . Vous nous rappelΓ© que l’infertilitΓ© est un syndrome trΓ¨s compliquΓ© et non pas un symptΓ΄me isolΓ© et dont le cΓ΄tΓ© Γ©motionnel est un facteur important qu’on doit prΓͺter une attention particuliΓ¨re.
Cordialement.
Merci pour votre beau message, Meziani π
Thank you dear Clara for sharing this personal story with us ; respect .
Thank for sharing this. ???
Very nice article on fertility disorders. I was amused to know about UB 62 point from your treasure of experience I am really eager and awaiting for your next articles. We newcomers want to learn always on diagnosis part so if you can tell from your experience diagnosis techniques it will be useful for us. Thanks a lot
thank you for sharing this, it must have been very difficult.
i treat a lot of women trying to conceive. thank you for this useful information.
kind regards,
CΓ©line Vandendriessche
Belgium
Merci Celine ?
So sad. Long standing emotional stress…how do we learn to deal with it and let it go? I separated 4 years ago, lost my home, nearly lost sense of living but due to my 2 girls now 10 and 13 I somehow managed to fight it and start from the beginning. How do we heal the past, how do we cross that line to look at it as an experience rather than emotional pain. How to cross that line and look to the future without looking back? We never stop learning. Never give up!
Sorry you’re having a tough time. Ask for help ?
Hi dearest Clara
Your story is a reflection of so many of my clients. As I read it I felt like I was listening to one of my patients.
These challenges are a reality for so many women.
The hardest part of it, is knowing the man that supposed to support and protect you as a child was the the cause of your pain.
I also want to believe that no person is born with such a heart to hurt someone, I want to believe that their actions came from a space of pain or a similar experience. Their inferiority complex that made them do what they did was because they felt small about themselves.
I can only pray that we manage to help these women and their oppressors/abusers heal from their pain.
I appreciate the work you do.
You hve truly been a support structure in my practice that helped me grow to where I am, by the will of the Almighty SWT.
Thank you
Hi, Naeema. Thank you so much for sharing. You are doing very important work with your clients β€οΈβπ©Ή I’m so glad Clara has helped you grow πͺ΄
Thank you for sharing her story. The article was touching yet didnβt pull too much on the heart strings. You did a great job and thanks for the fore look. Giving us a choice and if we had the space to read it. Thoughtful.
So thoughtful of her ππΌ
I’m glad you found benefit from her sharing this story.